I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
