I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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