is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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