Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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