I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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