Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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