Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I checked into jail on foursquare
two words...techno handjob
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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