Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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