he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
