Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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