God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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