I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
