We're like a lot better than the average bears
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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