At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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