you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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