So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
