epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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