Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
