i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
