i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
