We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
