We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize