too bad you live with your parents still
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
