I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
