i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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