Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
