Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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