She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
