Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have already put on my inside pants.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
