What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
