that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
