My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
