I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
