Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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