She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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