Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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