I wanna bring you to show and tell
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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