im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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