haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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