dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
