apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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