My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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