I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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