weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize