Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
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I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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