Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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