I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
