Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is Oprah even human
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize