Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
