We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
