i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
