Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
