I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
