Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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