What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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