After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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