I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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