The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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