Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm bleeding and have questions
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
