at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
