Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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