You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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