Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
