im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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